Annoying, petty things that bug me (and probably bug you too)

I had a really weird start to this day/week/month. My tummy is all messed up from God knows what I put in my mouth yesterday (crockpot beef stew with way too many onions? chili chocolate dunkies with way too many chili flakes?) I feel like what a lactose-intolerant cow would feel like drinking it’s own… milk. Yes.

Maybe I need some kind of “detox” day. Any thoughts? What’s good to flush all the crap out of my system? All this disgusting... Paleo crap. (That’s the beef stew in the jar, by the way, in case you got freaked out.)
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Speaking of flushing – ladies, don’t you just hate it when you squat over the bowl to take a whizz (if you don’t squat, you should, because it’s hygienic and it works your glutes) and your pee decides to repel and shoot down the back of your legs? Raise of hands? Yeah. It happens all the time. If only our urinal systems worked like taps instead of sprinklers. (All the males in the world just went “hells yeah”).

Speaking of males, (but not really), I went to my acupuncturist today after not seeing him for a year. Guess what he said?

“You gained weight.”

Uhm, I’m sorry. Did I just go through a 1 month Paleo intensive, lose 3 ks and 4% body fat to gain weight?

What I think (in fact, I’m sure) you meant to say was, “You look great.” Yep. GREAT.

I’ve been thinking of what to do for this long weekend coming up. I need to get away. I guess I could cook more stuff for you guys, but I kind of feel like living at some fancy BnB. You know what I mean? Like in the movies, when you wake up to the sun and slight breeze coming through your balcony doors overlooking a vineyard. OR I could just go camp out on some beach like a stoner. Everyone I know (i.e actually want to hang out with) is busy. Having lives, I guess. 

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