What an adventure it’s been!
I’m finally back, folks, after two solid days of being stranded in Tokyo. Remember when I said I was waiting to catch the bus to the airport? Yeah, that was a lie. I mean, we did get on the bus at 9am and headed to the airport ready to catch our supposedly scheduled 1pm flight to LA, but of course, sometimes things are too good to be true. We waited in the check-in line watching Japanese people scurry about for an hour, until they finally told us that our flight had been postponed to 9pm that night. 9PM, EVERYONE. That’s another 12 HOURS in addition to the 14 hours they had already delayed us by. You better believe the 200 passengers were absolutely furious. I’m pretty sure we burned another hole through the ozone layer from all the heat coming from our flared nostrils.
They gave us 5000¥ to spend on food and drink, which I would’ve thought a suitable compensation if I could spend it on sake and sushi, except it was 9am in the morning. The guy I sat next to on the plane actually said, “Are you that dignified”? So I spent it on chocolates – five whole boxes worth of chocolates. I’m telling you, guys, Japan is so good at making all food look delicious, so sue me. Out of absolute exhaustion, I could not be angry, but relieved when they finally told me at the last minute that the plane was magically fixed and we would fly at 5pm.
Tell me you don’t want to eat these.
So I made it, guys. Disheveled and sleep-deprived, but whole. Yes, yes, I know it’s a blessing that the plane didn’t spontaneously combust in the air, and at least I was stranded in Tokyo of all places. You darn optimists. Well, how do you explain my entire bike getting stolen, huh? Take that. Heart beyond broken. You know how liberated you feel walking around pants-less at home, a cool breeze caressing your bare thighs? That is exactly the same way I feel about riding my bike. The ultimate dream was to cycle and be bottom-less, and now I’ll never get that chance. I’m a decent human being, but man, do I wish that person gets some kind of genital infection.
So what does one do in a grieving period such as this? One makes paleo ice cream, is what one does. Check out what my amazeballs sister bought me for my 21st birthday:
1 mile run
200 goblet walking lunges
50 box jump overs
25 box dips
What the heck is it?! They’re alien spawn sacs, is what they are. It is, without a doubt, the strangest food I’ve seen. And it was not at all enjoyable to eat.
Anyway, here’s the recipe. For you, Smee!
PALEO KAI CHAI ICE CREAM
2 cups full cream coconut milk (none of this “lite” business)
1 cup almond milk, unsweetened and unflavoured
1/3 cup coconut palm sugar
1/2 cup loose leaf masala chai tea
1 star anise
1 – 2 fresh cinnamon sticks
1/4 – 1/2 cup chopped fresh ginger (add more for desired spicyness)
Method of Madness:-
- In a saucepan, heat coconut milk and almond milk over low heat till simmering (or until you see steam coming off).
- Add coconut palm sugar and stir continuously until completely dissolved.
- Take the saucepan off the heat and add chai tea leaves, star anise, cinnamon sticks and fresh ginger. Place a lid over the pot and let steep for 30 minutes (or longer, if you really want to soak up the flavour).
- Strain the cream mixture with a sieve, pressing down on the leaves to squeeze out any chai juices.
- (*NOTE: You can totally keep this mixture for future cups of chai lattes instead of just throwing it away. Keep in an airtight jar/ziplock bag in the fridge for up to 2 days. It’ll be milder because most of the flavour has been extracted.)
- Put the saucepan back on low-medium heat, stirring constantly until it thickens till a cream-like consistency. It should be thick enough to coat the back of a wooden spoon.
- Once it’s creamier, leave to cool to room temperature. Place in the fridge for 4 hours.
- Once the wait is over, assemble the ice cream robot. Press the ‘On’ button.
- Pour the mixture in and churn for 6-8 minutes. You’ll start to see it freezing and getting thicker.
- Transfer to a tupperware and store in the freezer. OR if you’re like me, eat it straight out of the freezer bowl. BAM.
- If you want to eat it, remove from the freezer for an hour before consumption.